Do I?
I come to a point where I think I've surrendered everything to God, then, I realize there's something else that I'm keeping to myself. I often feel like the rich young ruler. He had followed 9 out of 10 commandments, and had surrendered his life to follow the Law, but when Jesus asked him to give up everything he owned (he was rich), he could not. Am I that way? Do I give God ALMOST all of my life?
I have been through quite a battle surrendering one area of my life lately--my family. First, God asked me to give Him my grandmother, who I call Grammie. She has Alzheimer's really bad, and as more of her mind slips, I have come to realize that she is not mine to keep, but must be given over to God. It's not easy. She's MY Grammie. I love her deeply, and I want her to always remember me, always want to give me hugs, always want to sing hymns with me, always be mine. But, she was never mine to begin with; she's God's. I'm blessed He put her in my life to be my Grammie even if only for a season. I must now surrender her into His hands. He's the God of the universe and He's very very good. I can trust Him.
Now, God is asking me to give up my sister. Since she was 10 years old, she has been called to be a missionary overseas. I grew up always knowing that I would always play music (whether professionally or not). My sister grew up always knowing she was going to be a missionary. Well, she finished with her ESL (English as a Second Language) degree last Spring, and now she's going to a big country in Asia to teach English in orphanages, learn the language, and share Christ. She's not just going for a month or two, but now she's going 6 months. She'll come home, then go for life. I have to trust that God will protect her in the land she's going to. I have to surrender her to Christ. I have to trust Him.
As I'm learning to surrender, I'm also learning to trust God more. I think the root of my lack of will to surrender is my lack of trusting God. I taught 3rd and 4th graders about trusting God last Sunday, and the concept has continued to trickle into my heart...again. Proverbs 3:5-6 says to "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." I've asked myself the question, "Do I trust God?" I do most of the time, but when I refuse to surrender something or someone, it proves I'm not perfect. The beauty in the situation is that in my struggle, God remains the same and continues to prove to me He can be trusted. He's the God of the universe. He created everything. He's a good God Who sent His Son to die in my place. I CAN trust Him. Oh, for grace to trust Him more! I find that I cry of my heart. The more I trust Him, the more I realize I NEED to trust Him. I just need Him. Do I make sense? I digress.
I'm realizing how important surrender is in my life. If I didn't have a free will to choose to surrender or not, I would not learn to trust God because surrender is trust. It's trusting that God will take care of anything and everything and ALWAYS has the best plan for me. It's trusting Him daily with my life. Once I trust Him, it becomes easier to surrender. Oh, for grace to trust Him more.
Still learning,
Kristy
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Gloria from the Mass for Easter Sunday
LATIN
Gloria in excelsis Deo.
Et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis.
Laudamus te. Benecicimus te.
Adoramus te. Glorificamus te.
Gratias agimus tibi propter magnam gloriam tuam.
Domine Deus, Rex caelestis.
Deus Pater omnipotens.
Domine Fili unigenite Jesu Christe.
Domine Deus, Agnus Dei, Filius Patris.
Qui tollis peccata mundi,
miserere nobis.
Qui tollis peccata mundi,
suscipe deprecationem nostram.
Qui sedes ad dexteram Patris,
miserere nobis.
Quoniam tu solus santus.
Tu solus dominus.
Tu solus Altissimus, Jesu Christe.
Cum Sancto Spiritu,
in Gloria Dei Patris. Amen.
ENGLISH
Glory to God in the highest.
And on earth peace to men of good will.
We praise thee, we bless thee,
we adore thee, we glorify thee.
We give thee thanks for they great glory.
O Lord God, King of heaven,
God the Father almighty.
O Lord, the only begotten Son, Jesus Chrsit.
O Lord God, Lamb of God, Son of the Father.
Thou who takest away the sins of the world,
have mercy on us.
Thou who takest away the sins of the world,
receive our prayer.
Thou who sittest at the right hand of the Father,
have mercy on us.
For thou only art holy,
thou only art Lord,
thou only art most high, O Jesus Christ,
with the Holy Ghost,
in the glory of God the Father. Amen.
Gloria in excelsis Deo.
Et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis.
Laudamus te. Benecicimus te.
Adoramus te. Glorificamus te.
Gratias agimus tibi propter magnam gloriam tuam.
Domine Deus, Rex caelestis.
Deus Pater omnipotens.
Domine Fili unigenite Jesu Christe.
Domine Deus, Agnus Dei, Filius Patris.
Qui tollis peccata mundi,
miserere nobis.
Qui tollis peccata mundi,
suscipe deprecationem nostram.
Qui sedes ad dexteram Patris,
miserere nobis.
Quoniam tu solus santus.
Tu solus dominus.
Tu solus Altissimus, Jesu Christe.
Cum Sancto Spiritu,
in Gloria Dei Patris. Amen.
ENGLISH
Glory to God in the highest.
And on earth peace to men of good will.
We praise thee, we bless thee,
we adore thee, we glorify thee.
We give thee thanks for they great glory.
O Lord God, King of heaven,
God the Father almighty.
O Lord, the only begotten Son, Jesus Chrsit.
O Lord God, Lamb of God, Son of the Father.
Thou who takest away the sins of the world,
have mercy on us.
Thou who takest away the sins of the world,
receive our prayer.
Thou who sittest at the right hand of the Father,
have mercy on us.
For thou only art holy,
thou only art Lord,
thou only art most high, O Jesus Christ,
with the Holy Ghost,
in the glory of God the Father. Amen.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Forever Alive
A flower has a gentle, quiet, beauty as it reaches for the sky.
But when a gentle flower is crushed, its beauty seems to die.
But as the seeds press to the ground, more beauty will arise.
For, where the former flower stood, a new one soon will thrive.
All hearts were created to reach like flowers gaily up towards God.
But all tender hearts are crushed by sin and their beauty has tragically died.
But as our hearts press towards our Maker, beauty soon shall rise.
Because when the Maker gave His life, our hearts His blood purified,
And now the heart in Him becomes sanctified, and is forever alive.
-KLR
-KLR
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Grace Overflowing
This week my faith has grown tremendously. I've had some faith growing pains. I'm serious--pains have grown my faith. I have several friends who are going through indescribably difficult things right now. Because of knowing them, praying for them, and hurting with them, I have grown.
A friend of mine said something last week (Thursday) about how you never know what God will teach you from knowing someone. It's true. God is teaching me so many things through other people at the moment.
Anyway, through difficult times with friends and through my questioning of things, I have been reminded that forever, everything points back to God and His faithfulness in grace, which points me back to Christ, which brings Himself glory. Here are the words that poured out tonight:
Because God is faithful, He gives me grace,
Which allows me to have faith.
Then, through my pain, my faith remains
Because of His grace overflowing.
When I'm in pain, my faith will grow.
But only because of Him, I know.
When God allows the rain to flow,
It's simply because it's time to grow.
But in His grace I'm never alone,
And through the pain, His faithfulness is shown
And my faith is grown
Because of His grace overflowing.
When I am struggling and have no peace,
I find I can rest in the shadow of His wings.
To still waters, He leadeth me.
He calms my spirit and cares for me as His sheep.
And when the storm around me rages
He shows me He's the Rock of Ages.
In my distress, He gives me relief.
Soon I find I sleep in peace
Because of His grace overflowing.
It's not by anything I have done
That to this point I have come.
Because of my sin and shame,
God was caused much pain.
But In His pain, He remained the same:
Forever faithful and filled with grace.
He sent His Son, Jesus Christ
To die in my place and give me Life
Because of His grace overflowing.
But, because of He Who died alone,
I never have to be alone.
Because He suffered pain,
He, understands my human pain
And faithfully remains.
In the end, His glory is shone, not my own
Because in me is faith, growth, peace, and Life
That comes from Christ alone
And His grace overflowing.
-KLR
(Supporting texts--the whole Bible. Specifically, Psalm 23, Psalm 4, Lamentations 3:26ish+, Romans 8.)
A friend of mine said something last week (Thursday) about how you never know what God will teach you from knowing someone. It's true. God is teaching me so many things through other people at the moment.
Anyway, through difficult times with friends and through my questioning of things, I have been reminded that forever, everything points back to God and His faithfulness in grace, which points me back to Christ, which brings Himself glory. Here are the words that poured out tonight:
Because God is faithful, He gives me grace,
Which allows me to have faith.
Then, through my pain, my faith remains
Because of His grace overflowing.
When I'm in pain, my faith will grow.
But only because of Him, I know.
When God allows the rain to flow,
It's simply because it's time to grow.
But in His grace I'm never alone,
And through the pain, His faithfulness is shown
And my faith is grown
Because of His grace overflowing.
When I am struggling and have no peace,
I find I can rest in the shadow of His wings.
To still waters, He leadeth me.
He calms my spirit and cares for me as His sheep.
And when the storm around me rages
He shows me He's the Rock of Ages.
In my distress, He gives me relief.
Soon I find I sleep in peace
Because of His grace overflowing.
It's not by anything I have done
That to this point I have come.
Because of my sin and shame,
God was caused much pain.
But In His pain, He remained the same:
Forever faithful and filled with grace.
He sent His Son, Jesus Christ
To die in my place and give me Life
Because of His grace overflowing.
But, because of He Who died alone,
I never have to be alone.
Because He suffered pain,
He, understands my human pain
And faithfully remains.
In the end, His glory is shone, not my own
Because in me is faith, growth, peace, and Life
That comes from Christ alone
And His grace overflowing.
-KLR
(Supporting texts--the whole Bible. Specifically, Psalm 23, Psalm 4, Lamentations 3:26ish+, Romans 8.)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Life As Usual?
A song I love by Meredith Andrews asks some really good questions. "How could I go back to life as usual? How could I return to who I once was? I just wanna take Your story to the world 'cause You have shown me what it means to love."
I go off on a mission trip, I come back "changed." I have a close encounter with Christ; I'm "changed." I see God work miracles and my life is "changed." My faith grows. God reveals His love to me. He shows me what it means to love. I claim I'll NEVER go back to life as usual. But guess what? I find I always do, or always have up until this point in life.
Life as usual is comfortable. It doesn't stretch me. Life as usual is life as it always has been: going to church, doing my quiet times most days, hanging out with Christian friends, listening to Christian music all the time, and feeling all chummy about how good I am. Pitiful, right? You'd think after God has done so much for me, I'd be a bit more enthusiastic about His calling on my life, and I am until I fall back into the rut of "life as usual." Can anybody relate, or is it just me?
Anyway, I've been convicted. I can't sing that song by Meredith Andrews unless I mean it. I mean, I'd be lying to God with the words I sing. So, I'm convicted and determined to allow God to keep changing me, to keep me from never going back to life as usual.
I eagerly desire to reach out from my comfort zone. I don't want to be known as Kristy, the good Christian girl. I want to be known as Kristy, the one who loves as Christ loved, the one who draws people to Christ. I don't want to live life as usual. I was created for much more than that.
So, what about life as usual? I'm abandoning it. There's nothing usual about being called out by Christ (as every believer is, by the way). It's absolutely, incredibly, unusual. It's a calling from the God Who has shown me what it means to love, pursued me with His love, and calls me to love others in the same way.
Please pray with me as I enter into an endeavor into the uncomfortable, the unusual. Pray that God's specific ministries for me would be made clear to me and that I would obey Him. Pray that I would not avoid doing something He's called me to because it's uncomfortable. You should try the same for yourself. Your specific calling may be different than mine, but I plead with you, do not keep living life as usual. With God, it can be so much more than you could imagine.
Still learning,
Kristy
I go off on a mission trip, I come back "changed." I have a close encounter with Christ; I'm "changed." I see God work miracles and my life is "changed." My faith grows. God reveals His love to me. He shows me what it means to love. I claim I'll NEVER go back to life as usual. But guess what? I find I always do, or always have up until this point in life.
Life as usual is comfortable. It doesn't stretch me. Life as usual is life as it always has been: going to church, doing my quiet times most days, hanging out with Christian friends, listening to Christian music all the time, and feeling all chummy about how good I am. Pitiful, right? You'd think after God has done so much for me, I'd be a bit more enthusiastic about His calling on my life, and I am until I fall back into the rut of "life as usual." Can anybody relate, or is it just me?
Anyway, I've been convicted. I can't sing that song by Meredith Andrews unless I mean it. I mean, I'd be lying to God with the words I sing. So, I'm convicted and determined to allow God to keep changing me, to keep me from never going back to life as usual.
I eagerly desire to reach out from my comfort zone. I don't want to be known as Kristy, the good Christian girl. I want to be known as Kristy, the one who loves as Christ loved, the one who draws people to Christ. I don't want to live life as usual. I was created for much more than that.
So, what about life as usual? I'm abandoning it. There's nothing usual about being called out by Christ (as every believer is, by the way). It's absolutely, incredibly, unusual. It's a calling from the God Who has shown me what it means to love, pursued me with His love, and calls me to love others in the same way.
Please pray with me as I enter into an endeavor into the uncomfortable, the unusual. Pray that God's specific ministries for me would be made clear to me and that I would obey Him. Pray that I would not avoid doing something He's called me to because it's uncomfortable. You should try the same for yourself. Your specific calling may be different than mine, but I plead with you, do not keep living life as usual. With God, it can be so much more than you could imagine.
Still learning,
Kristy
Monday, May 16, 2011
Life as the Pursued
***As a warning, this post has the potential to be really long and also really random because my heart is learning so much right now, but I hope and pray it will make some sense to you and you'll be encouraged by it.*** Here goes...
God continues to leave me speechless. Now that I'm His (and have been for some time), He will NOT let me go. I praise Him for that. So, what do I mean by life as the pursued? I'm going to actually be a little more open than is comfortable, but by God's grace, I'll be okay. I'll start at the beginning:
I'm a girl, thus, I have bunches of desires. I want to be loved, nurtured, protected, provided for, and more. My heart cries to be a princess. God created and put within me the desires I have. Because He is my Creator, only He can fulfill my desires and everything I need perfectly. Only He can pursue me as I need to be pursued. I know that, but I am a sinner. I struggle and I begin to search out other things to fill the void in my heart only God can fill. I start trying to figure out who God's best is for me. I've been quietly struggling with the issue yet again in the past month or so. In my moment of weakness, though, God has pursued me ever more. He has shown me yet again how much He loves me. I'm His princess. He's all I need and I can have as much of Him as I want. How cool is that?
So, how does God pursue me?
It's kind of hard to explain, but in as few words as possible, He gives me just what I need right when I need it most. Whether it be a passage of Scripture, a song, a friend to encourage me, or a Girls' night out event at a local church encouraging me to wait and pointing out some blatant Truth (from the Bible) to me, God simply does not let go.
As I write this, one passage of Scripture that God showed me a couple weeks ago (and I've already written about once on this blog) comes to mind again:
"O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuaray
and beheld your power and Your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify You.
I will praise You as long as I live,
and in Your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise You.
On my bed I remember You;
I think of You through the watches of the night.
Because You are my help,
I sing in the shadow of Your wings.
My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me..."
Psalm 63:1-8
Here's my prayer through that:
"Oh God, only You are my God. I do not need or want any other gods. They come into my life, but really I need You alone and desire seek only You.
Where I am in life right now is difficult and sometimes it seems there is no hope. I need You to be my hope. I need You to be all I need. You are all I need.
God, You have been with me through thick and thin. You are awesome. You've revealed to me Who You are. You are glorious, and You make everything glorious. You even made me glorious through Salvation in Christ. Oh, God, Your love is so extravagant. It's better than anything I could ever have here on earth: romance, wealth, anything. Without Your love, I'd be eternally dead. I glorify You because of that God. I praise you. I lift up my hands in surrender to You. As I do, You satisfy me, not with what I thought I needed, but with You. I'm filled. I'm whole. I'm complete. I'm Yours.
God, on my bed, help me to remember You alone. My thoughts often wonder to things I shouldn't worry about when I'm in bed at nights. Oh, God, I pray You'll be constantly in my thoughts. God, You are my only hope and my only help. You protect me. You cover me with your wings of grace. God, I sing now, in the covering of Your magnificent grace. My soul can survive only because of Your grace. I cling to You because only You can fulfill me. Only You can make me strong. Only You pursue me as I need to be pursued. Only You, God, are my life."
See? So, even as my heart wanders away at times, God's Truth in me always leads me back to Him. It's a constant pursuit.
Tonight at the Girls' Night Out I went to, I was reminded yet again that I'm God's girl. No worries. He's got this. I needed tonight to lead me back to what God's been teaching me and back to His Word. God knew I needed it RIGHT NOW, and allowed me to go to the event. He's awesome like that. This is life as the pursued princess of God--I'm always given what I need when I need it, I'm always loved, I'm never forgotten, I never have to worry about anything.
Anyway, as I lie down to sleep, God will be on my heart through the watches of the night. The question, "What does the Holy Spirit do in you while you sleep?" comes to mind. I don't quite know, but I pray He works in me and when I wake in the morning, I pray I'm closer to God and that the thoughts of my heart and mind through the watches of the nigh tonight will overflow into my living tomorrow.
In His miraculous grace,
Kristy
God continues to leave me speechless. Now that I'm His (and have been for some time), He will NOT let me go. I praise Him for that. So, what do I mean by life as the pursued? I'm going to actually be a little more open than is comfortable, but by God's grace, I'll be okay. I'll start at the beginning:
I'm a girl, thus, I have bunches of desires. I want to be loved, nurtured, protected, provided for, and more. My heart cries to be a princess. God created and put within me the desires I have. Because He is my Creator, only He can fulfill my desires and everything I need perfectly. Only He can pursue me as I need to be pursued. I know that, but I am a sinner. I struggle and I begin to search out other things to fill the void in my heart only God can fill. I start trying to figure out who God's best is for me. I've been quietly struggling with the issue yet again in the past month or so. In my moment of weakness, though, God has pursued me ever more. He has shown me yet again how much He loves me. I'm His princess. He's all I need and I can have as much of Him as I want. How cool is that?
So, how does God pursue me?
It's kind of hard to explain, but in as few words as possible, He gives me just what I need right when I need it most. Whether it be a passage of Scripture, a song, a friend to encourage me, or a Girls' night out event at a local church encouraging me to wait and pointing out some blatant Truth (from the Bible) to me, God simply does not let go.
As I write this, one passage of Scripture that God showed me a couple weeks ago (and I've already written about once on this blog) comes to mind again:
"O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuaray
and beheld your power and Your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify You.
I will praise You as long as I live,
and in Your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise You.
On my bed I remember You;
I think of You through the watches of the night.
Because You are my help,
I sing in the shadow of Your wings.
My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me..."
Psalm 63:1-8
Here's my prayer through that:
"Oh God, only You are my God. I do not need or want any other gods. They come into my life, but really I need You alone and desire seek only You.
Where I am in life right now is difficult and sometimes it seems there is no hope. I need You to be my hope. I need You to be all I need. You are all I need.
God, You have been with me through thick and thin. You are awesome. You've revealed to me Who You are. You are glorious, and You make everything glorious. You even made me glorious through Salvation in Christ. Oh, God, Your love is so extravagant. It's better than anything I could ever have here on earth: romance, wealth, anything. Without Your love, I'd be eternally dead. I glorify You because of that God. I praise you. I lift up my hands in surrender to You. As I do, You satisfy me, not with what I thought I needed, but with You. I'm filled. I'm whole. I'm complete. I'm Yours.
God, on my bed, help me to remember You alone. My thoughts often wonder to things I shouldn't worry about when I'm in bed at nights. Oh, God, I pray You'll be constantly in my thoughts. God, You are my only hope and my only help. You protect me. You cover me with your wings of grace. God, I sing now, in the covering of Your magnificent grace. My soul can survive only because of Your grace. I cling to You because only You can fulfill me. Only You can make me strong. Only You pursue me as I need to be pursued. Only You, God, are my life."
See? So, even as my heart wanders away at times, God's Truth in me always leads me back to Him. It's a constant pursuit.
Tonight at the Girls' Night Out I went to, I was reminded yet again that I'm God's girl. No worries. He's got this. I needed tonight to lead me back to what God's been teaching me and back to His Word. God knew I needed it RIGHT NOW, and allowed me to go to the event. He's awesome like that. This is life as the pursued princess of God--I'm always given what I need when I need it, I'm always loved, I'm never forgotten, I never have to worry about anything.
Anyway, as I lie down to sleep, God will be on my heart through the watches of the night. The question, "What does the Holy Spirit do in you while you sleep?" comes to mind. I don't quite know, but I pray He works in me and when I wake in the morning, I pray I'm closer to God and that the thoughts of my heart and mind through the watches of the nigh tonight will overflow into my living tomorrow.
In His miraculous grace,
Kristy
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
My Cup Runneth Over...
"The LORD is my Shepherd.
I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His Names' sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.
For Thou Art with me.
Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
Psalm 23
I'm not sure how to express what's on my heart. The Psalm says it all. It's praise to God for Who He is. He's been all these things for me in the past year, and He continues to be these things. He remains.
I could tell story after story after struggle after rejoicing about God and how He is sooo good. But, I'll refrain from that and simply say that my life is completely fulfilled right now. By the world's standards I shouldn't be: I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have much money, I'm not moving up the ladder to high class, etc. But, by God's standards, I'm blessed beyond measure. God fulfills me through my relationship with Him. He blesses me with my loving family, numerous true friends, good health, everything materially I need, and an eternal purpose in life. What more could a girl ask for?
So, as the Psalm says, I say, "My cup runneth over."
In His grace,
Kristy
I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His Names' sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.
For Thou Art with me.
Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
Psalm 23
I'm not sure how to express what's on my heart. The Psalm says it all. It's praise to God for Who He is. He's been all these things for me in the past year, and He continues to be these things. He remains.
I could tell story after story after struggle after rejoicing about God and how He is sooo good. But, I'll refrain from that and simply say that my life is completely fulfilled right now. By the world's standards I shouldn't be: I don't have a boyfriend, I don't have much money, I'm not moving up the ladder to high class, etc. But, by God's standards, I'm blessed beyond measure. God fulfills me through my relationship with Him. He blesses me with my loving family, numerous true friends, good health, everything materially I need, and an eternal purpose in life. What more could a girl ask for?
So, as the Psalm says, I say, "My cup runneth over."
In His grace,
Kristy
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