Confessions from a "Missionary's Sister"

I'm a "Missionary's Sister". That means I have a sister who lives on the other side of the earth (literally) for the sole purpose of spreading the Gospel to people who otherwise would have no way of hearing it. "Missionary's Sister" is a difficult title to wear sometimes, and since, in general, few people have that title, I want to share some honest thoughts about it.

Now, for some background, I believe without a doubt in my mind that God is very good. He has a plan and a purpose for each and every person who chooses Him—His grace and salvation through justification, and the process sanctification. As Christians, we are called to follow Christ, no matter the cost. Knowing the sacrifice He made for us, we are compelled to joyfully take up our crosses knowing that no sacrifice we make for Him out of our love for Him could compare to His sacrifice and love for us.

Sometimes, though, God calls us to distant lands far from home. Following God should be first priority even before our families (Luke 14:25-27). Of course, when God sent His Son Jesus to be with us to die for us, HE was very far from Home and He chose to leave His Father and be separated from Him (the Trinity still confuses me) for us. So, denying all and going into all the world to preach the Gospel to take hope the nations is right and Biblical and very Christ-like.

I know that it’s hard for the people who leave their families, but I cannot write from that perspective. All I know is that, as believers, our family is not flesh and blood alone, but is an ever growing Spiritual family known as the Kingdom of God. Those who abandon their flesh families for the sake of Christ are on mission to grow the Kingdom family. They know God is with them. They struggle a lot. But, God called them, He’s near, and He does wonderful things through them. Most of us have probably been intrigued by and have read stories about those people who “went.” We’re aware of the many difficulties they face, and I’m not writing to take away from that.

But, what about the immediate family who’s left behind? Nobody ever writes from the perspective of being the family of one who goes to the ends of the earth for the sake of the Gospel. Certainly, it’s not easy to be the “goer”. Sometimes, I wonder, though, if anyone gives thought to the “senders.”

See, we’re a vital part of the “goer” being able to go. We support—financially, emotionally, and spiritually. We advocate. We stay in touch. We pray. Goodness, do we ever pray. We love. We repeat the same stories over and over to everyone who asks about our precious missionary because we are so thankful for the support and are quite enthusiastic about the spreading Gospel. We boldly stand for the beauty that sharing and sending the Gospel out is.

However, we also struggle. We miss. And, even in our joy of sending, we have sorrow. Someone we’ve loved, invested in, and who has been a part of our daily lives suddenly is gone. “Normal” is not normal anymore. We’re not dragged out to the mall on Black Friday, or decorated with “Twinkle Twinkle” lights during the tree trimming process at Christmas. The pumpkin pie doesn’t get made for Thanksgiving. We can never figure out how to fill the booths at restaurants when we eat out as a not-quite-complete family. The living room stays quiet in the evenings because of the lack of our chattering extrovert.

As a sister, late night giggling with tooth brushes in the mouth in the bathroom that turns into heart-to-heart discussions about God and faith no longer happen. Crying together, then embracing in a gigantic hug becomes crying alone wrapped in a blanket. Shopping together, watching “chick-flicks” together, studying Scripture together, doing life together, and knowing every detail about each other's life is no longer reality.

So, being the “sender” is not easy. Ask any family who has sent a missionary (or missionaries) far from home, and I’m certain they’ll tell you it’s not easy. However, I hope they’ll also tell you it’s worth it. I would never ask my sister to move back here. That would be utterly selfish, and it would hinder the spreading of the Gospel. As much as I miss my sister, I do not want her to come back because it would not be God's will.

 

In fact, God has taught me things from my sister leaving me that I may have never learned if she hadn’t gone. At first, I thought it was wrong for me to struggle with her being gone, but through time, I’ve realized that every aspect of the hurt and struggle is God-blessed, and every need is God-filled—both for my sister and for me and my family. At first, it was hard for me when everyone would ask about how my sister is doing, but rarely ask how I’m doing with her being gone. Then, God showed me that it’s not about me and that He cares about and knows my struggle and that’s all that matters. He’s enough.

I did not write this for pity. I wrote it to give perspective and to release some thoughts that have been on my heart for a long time. The truth is, by being a “sender” of a missionary and surrendering her, I get to be a part of something much greater than myself. It doesn’t mean I sit back at home, cheer her on, and do nothing personally to spread the Gospel. I have my own unique callings that I plan to pursue which will likely ultimately move me away from home too. However, being the little sister of a foreign missionary is and always will be a part of my calling. It's special, and relatively few people get the honor of the title "Missionary's Sister."