I'm Just a Going Over Jordan, I'm Just a Going Over Home

I am a musician--a violinist, violist, singer, worshiper-of-my-Savior. As a Christian musician, the sole purpose of the music I partake in is to glorify God. It's all because of Jesus I'm alive and I live all for Jesus.

Now, I've been many places with music. In the view of most people, music is my opportunity. The more prestigious the place, the "bigger and better" the audience, the more "fulfilling" and "accomplished" I'll be as a musician, right?

As I sat on the stage of Carnegie Hall, I found myself thinking and in a trance. I began to have flashbacks of all the places music has taken me. But, then I realized they're not places that music has taken me, but where God has taken me with music being His tool. From the Six Flags in Chicago, to the front of Independence Hall in Philadelphia, to Carnegie Hall; from the nursing homes in Tennessee, to the homeless shelter of Philadelphia, to a boy's vocational school in Belize. In all these places, both prestigious and humble, I've seen God. I've seen Him work in me and work in others. Most importantly, I've seen Him glorified.

I began to replay a memory that's been lingering in my thoughts. This semester at school, I was downtown for a big concert the school orchestra was playing. I had several hours break and it was a beautiful day, so 4 of my friends and I set out walking. I pulled out my violin and started playing Wayfaring Stranger. Suddenly, out of a hiding place, two drunken homeless men were drawn by the music. Most young girls would be scared and try to escape from speaking to them, but God kept me there. They laid down on the sidewalk and I kept playing. My friend joined me, and we did a small mini-concert in the middle of downtown for two homeless men. They could barely walk, but I'll never forget their comments: "It would cost me a fortune to go to something like this." "You just made my day." My friend and I continued playing and closed with "Amazing Grace." Of course, in their stupor on the ground, these two men began to sing along. God continues to teach me through that moment of grace.

Fast forward three months. As I sat on the stage of Carnegie Hall, I had continuous flashbacks and memories of my musical life up until that moment. Carnegie Hall is every musician's dream. It's the goal and the highest, most important concert of a musician's life. I still just sat there. Although I was amazed and awed at the golden beauty of the historical concert hall, the hall itself and my playing in it has not made me the musician I am and definitely did not make me a better musician. I was somewhat shocked that I felt no different and no more fulfilled on the stage of Carnegie Hall than I do when I perform anywhere else. I had gotten caught up in the moment and when the moment wasn't what I thought it would be, I was surprised.

Ultimately, the prestige and golden glimmer of the hall and the paying audience did not fulfill me any more than the beautiful blue city skies and the little homeless audience did. Yes, I was awed, but Carnegie Hall is not what fulfills me. It's not what I strive for. I seek Christ and desire to give Him glory, and He is the One who fulfilled me in my home city that day and finally in the concert hall that evening while playing "Were You There."

The journey to Carnegie Hall and now onward is more important than the performance itself. See, I'm on a journey to sing in the most beautiful place--one that is beyond this world-- to join in with all believers of all time to worship the one Creator and Giver of Life for all eternity because only He fulfills me in my music and only He is worthy of all the glory. I about started crying today when I read the lyrics to Wayfaring Stranger (the song that drew the homeless men) while putting this blog post from my heart into words:

"I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger
I'm traveling through this world of woe
Yet there's no sickness, toil nor danger
In that bright land to which I go
I'm going there to see my mother/father
I'm going there no more to roam
I'm only going over Jordan
I'm only going over home

I know dark clouds will gather 'round me
I know my way is rough and steep
Yet golden fields lie just before me
Where God's redeemed shall ever sleep
I'm going there to see my father/mother
S/he said he'd/she'd meet me when I come
I'm only going over Jordan
I'm only going over home

I want to wear a crown of glory
When I get home to that good land
I want to shout salvation's story
In concert with the blood-washed band
I'm going there to meet my Saviour
To sing his praise forever more
I'm just a going over Jordan
I'm just a going over home."


In His grace,
Kristy